Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Modern Pittsburgh Woman’s Top Ten Chick Flick Categories

Hello everyone! It’s a privilege to be writing this post (Thanks Ben D!); and actually, it is the first time I have ever been a guest blogger. If you like what transpires, you can check ahhhht the rest of my thoughts and ideas on my personal blog, The Steel Trap or follow me on Twitter @The_Steel_Trap. Enjoy! -HGB

Dating can be difficult. Dating the Modern Pittsburgh Woman (MPW) can be even more difficult. First of all, we aren’t just hanging around anywhere. Secondly (as I highlighted in The Modern Pittsburgh Woman 101 post), we are “hardworking,” “devoted,” “educated,” “dahn-to-earth,” “thrifty,” “nostalgic,” and “refined.” Lastly, when on a date, we believe that a “suitor” must have a working knowledge of our demographic. So how can a “suitor” begin to ensure the overall success of the outing? It starts with movies…

Movies are usually part of the get-to-know-you-first-date(s)-interviews and/or an actual first-few-date(s)-activity. Because MPW are refined, they will be comfortable with the traditional male favorites like Rocky IV, The Hangover or Shawshank Redemption. However, the MPW has her own arsenal of movies that she knows better than she knows which Macy’s have the best shoe departments: chick flicks. Thus, I did a little soul searching and a lot of reminiscing and came up with the Modern Pittsburgh Woman’s Top Ten Chick Flick Categories.

Now, MPW’s will either love or hate any or all of these categories; so it’s paramount that “suitors” are able to contribute to any or all discussions regarding these. It’s important to note that having seen movies in all categories isn’t required; rather, it’s more about having awareness (and maybe even appreciation) for what the MPW may or may not enjoy. Remember, MPW’s want a man that is relatable on multiple levels (but that’s another post for another time). Relate-ability=Re-date-ability!

Anyway, here are the Modern Pittsburgh Woman’s Top Ten Chick Flick Categories (with some bonus Steel Trap insight):

10.) The “Teenage Pop Bubble Gum Totally For Sure” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Clueless, Mean Girls, and Bring It On.

Key references: “As if!”, “That’s so fetch.”, and “These are not spirit fingers. These are spirit fingers.”

9.) The “I Loved This When I Was Little!” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Annie, The Sound of Music, The Parent Trap (Hayley Mills version), and The Wizard of Oz

Key dating tip: She’ll probably never ask you to watch one of these with her; however, if any of them should come up in conversation, DO NOT make fun of her for being nostalgic.

8.) The “Rags to Riches” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Pretty Woman, Maid in Manhattan, and Working Girl

Key plot line: Girl is dahn-n-ahhhht. Girl meets guy who is ahhhht of her league. Girl gets guy one way or the other n’at.

Key dating tip: No matter how progressive MPW may be, there’s a smidgeon of her that loves a great rags to riches (or Cinderella) story. And please know that the fairy tale came long before the March Madness Cinderella story allusions.

7.) The “I Know This Is Terrible But I’ll Probably Watch It Anyway” Flick

Quintessential flicks: He’s Just Not That Into You, Valentine’s Day, and those Twilight movies

Key references: Team Edward and Team Jacob.

Key dating tip: As with The “I Loved This When I Was Little!” Flick, tread lightly with these. There’s a chance that despite the MPW’s education and success, these movies bring ahhhht a glimmer of irrationality and you might lose some clout.

6.) The “Molly Ringwald’s In It” Flick

Quintessential flicks: The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles*, and Pretty In Pink*

Key references: being able to apply lipstick with your breasts, the Molly Ringwald dance move, Jake Ryan, Blaine, and Ducky.

5.) The “Successful Women Wearing Amazing Clothing” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Sex and the City, Sex and the City 2, and The Devil Wears Prada

Key dating tip: Knowing some major fashion designers is always helpful, albeit the MPW is thrifty. She might not blow the bank on most of her clothing purchases, but she has a keen sense of which designers are classic, reverent, and inspiring. If you must watch one of these, go for The Devil Wears Prada (yes, Vincent Chase Adrian Grenier is in it).

4.) The “Wedding” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Father of the Bride (Steve Martin version), 27 Dresses, Bridesmaids, My Best Friend’s Wedding, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Key references: “What color is that? Vomit?”, “…maid of dishonor,” and “Put some Windex on it.”

Key dating tip: The MPW won’t bring up marriage on the first date, you are safe there. Just know that dahn the road, the topic might come up; and you’ll need some knowledge of this category.

3.) The “Dance” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance*

Key references: the 80’s songs from these movies (especially “Footloose,” “Hungry Eyes,” and “Flashdance What a Feeling”), doing gymnastics in a barn to relieve stress, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”, and Jennifer Beals’ infamous cut off sweatshirts.

2.) The “Sinking Ship/There Will Be Tears” Flick

Quintessential flicks: Titanic, The Help, Ghost and The Notebook**

Key references: “I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.”, pies made from poo, “Ditto.”, and Noah.

Key dating tip: Do not point her tears ahhhht to her. Ever. Even when she’s acting like she didn’t know that the ship was going to sink or that people are racist. Let her dab her eyes in pseudo-privacy.

1.) The “Summer Lovin’” Flick
Quintessential flick:
Grease

Key references: all songs from this movie (especially “Summer Nights” “Greased Lightning” and “Beauty School Dropout”), “If you can't be in athlete, be an athletic supporter.”, Pink Ladies, T-Birds, and Rydell High.

Key dating tip: If you are going to see any of these movies on this entire list, Grease is the word. I have the commemorative DVD if anyone needs to borrow it (for research purposes of course).

*These also fit into The “Rags to Riches” Flick category.

**This could also fit into The “Summer Lovin’” Flick category

4 comments:

  1. This is definitely a great post - but I'd say it applies to every woman.. not just a "Pittsburgh" woman.

    :)

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  2. It should be noted that you are also able to stand the movie she likes. That's why it's prudent to present a couple choice for her, but all of them must be watchable.

    Chicks love Love Actually. And it's actually a good flick. I say that'd be a good third date "I'll cook you dinner and we'll watch a movie, and it'll hopefully lead to a make out sesh" date. If it's December and you're a decent cook you're def getting some.

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  3. I too actually love Love Actually, as well as liking Definitely, Maybe. However, I wanted to stay away from movies with only male protagonists with this list. Your turn Joe, come up with your guy movie list!

    ReplyDelete