A Different Voice

Note: I wrote this article for the relationships magazine in this same class, the article can also be viewed there.

A Different Voice

Everyone knows that relationships are hard to maintain, but imagine one in which you chose to keep secret; one that some might not approve of to the extent that they would go to lengths such as voting against it, or even more extreme measures.

Sophomore Peter Hendrickson, 20, of Carnegie Mellon University recalls the feelings of confusion when he came to the realization that he was gay,

“I started having feelings for other males around 7th grade… and was deathly afraid of actually being gay, but my understanding of it was really naïve. I was absolutely terrified, felt as if I had no outlet and I felt that my past was a lie and that I had no future,” said Hendrickson.

Hendrickson was out to most of his friends by graduation at his all-male high school. His family was another story.

“The hardest thing ever was telling my family, but telling my parents, especially my mother (practicing Catholic) was difficult. I'd heard too many horror stories about kids getting disowned over this, but that wasn’t the case,” said Hendrickson.

Amie Matthews, 23, had trouble coming to terms with her sexual orientation when she read in an article for girls that liking your friends was just a “respect crush.”

“In hindsight, that was one of the stupidest things I'd ever heard. For years I kind of denied my feelings and passed them off as something that everyone went through. It wasn't until high school that I realized it was bullshit,” said Matthews.

Matthews admitted that coming out was something she struggled with as well, and that some of her extended family still does not know.

“I feel much more comfortable with the people who do know,” said Matthews

For Dave Reynolds, 25, coming out in high school wasn’t an option.

“It was definitely scary at my high school,” said Reynolds, “I remember a bunch of football players tackling this gay kid, stripping him naked and duct taping him to a ceiling. Who would come out in that kind of environment?”

It took Reynolds until college to come out to someone, and a slip by a friend at a party to complete the task. Both Hendrickson and Reynolds were vastly relieved once their secret was out.

“It was like something you hide for so long no longer dragging you down,” said Reynolds.

“I was no longer living a lie. People began to know me for what I really was,” said Hendrickson.

All agreed that once they were out, things took a turn for the better in terms of their first relationships. They all were instantly more comfortable with their situations once they were out and around members of their own sex.

“Being in a relationship with a woman was the easiest thing I've ever done. Everything about it felt right. I got to a point in my life very quickly after that first relationship where I knew that this was for me. It was a very satisfying feeling,” said Matthews.

Hendrickson, when he looks back on his first relationship after coming out, admitted the memories are good,

“The time we spent together might have been the happiest of my life. I really enjoyed the two-way relationship of dating in the fact that we genuinely cared for each other more than ourselves. It brought about the best of us, and made us feel like better people,” said Hendrickson.

For Reynolds it was being more comfortable with men than he had ever been around women,

“It felt more natural and came much easier. Less pretending was awesome for me,” said Reynolds.

One might think that gay couples are very different than straight ones, but they would be wrong on most accounts. Whether it is remembering special dates, buying gifts or listening when you don’t want to; the public is starting to accept gay couples.

Are there still different hardships? Plenty.

For the younger Hendrickson,

“Because I was afraid of expanding my horizons socially in the gay community, I developed attraction for my male friends that were straight. It's the worst feeling in the world, you feel like you're taking advantage of them without even doing anything to them.”

For Matthews and her girlfriend,

“I've been called names, and a man sitting on an airplane next to my girlfriend and I even asked to be moved to another row because he didn't feel comfortable with 'those dykes’,” said Matthews.

For Reynolds,

“Gay men can be really flaky, and a lot of gay men in their 20s really don't have their lives together, unfortunately… You have to change the way you look at growing older and maturing. We tend to settle down a little later in our lives as gay men--I hardly know any married or long time partnered gay men in their 20s.”

Hendrickson has a bright future in front of him- he will be moving to Washington, D.C. in the summer to intern for a politician on Capitol Hill. He will be 21 in June.

Matthews will finishing up college at Chatham University over the summer, in Pittsburgh which she says is much more accepting than her hometown of Elmira, N.Y.

Dave Reynolds currently works for The Trevor Foundation in Southern California, the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. He urges youths who need help to call 24/7 free hotline at 1.866.4.U.TREVOR.

Alice In Wonderland

Tim Burton’s newest creation “Alice in Wonderland,” fails to match the images and thoughtfulness of its original source material, but his love of the fanatical characters keeps the movie afloat.

Burton and his crew took an entirely new script, a sequel stemming from Lewis Carroll’s timeless tales and ran with it. Gone are the riddles and most of the songs of the books, replaced by more CGI animals and creatures for Alice to interact with.

Johnny Depp also continues his marriage to all things Burton as the Mad Hatter. Depp is barely recognizable with his frizzy red hair and extravagant clothing and sometimes barely understandable either when speaking. None of this takes away from his over-the-top performance though, and Disney certainly has profited from them too (Captain Jack Sparrow anyone?).

The question being posed now amongst the older fans of Carroll’s work is “Has Alice become too commercialized?” One quick internet search on Amazon and Google yields nothing related to the books until the second of third pages. Do audiences still care about the books movies are based off anymore? Judging by Alice’s estimated 62 million dollars grossed on its opening week, the answer seems to be a resounding no when it comes productions such as these.

Burton seems to have kept his trademark quirkiness intact within the movie, which should keep fans of his work satisfied. The best way for the movie to be viewed is as it was filmed: in 3-D. The Cheshire Cat slithers across the screen, tea cups are hurled into the audience, and viewers feel as though they are traveling down the hole with Alice.

Newcomer Mia Wasikowska does an admirable job as Alice, even if she forced to do much with her character. In this version, Alice has grown up since her last foray into Wonderland. The characters in the book were written and designed for children; something about a grown up Alice fighting wars with witches seems a tad off.

In the end, Alice may be better served on paper to solve riddles and enjoy wonderland- but those still hoping for an amusing cinematic experience will not be let down. No doubt kids, parents and others will flock to see this movie but when it comes time for bedtime all of them alike should not forget about the novel.